Keeping Cool in Montana

Here in Montana, it gets pretty hot, but no so hot that we sleep in the oven to cool down like in Death Valley, but it still gets hot.

The big problem in our house is that we don’t have a fan that works out in our favor. We have two different fans, one that couldn’t move a cracker crumb on high, and the other one we’re pretty sure was removed from one of the Google Personal Jets.

So the options for sleeping in our home are becoming BBQ by the morning or sleeping against the wall, because the jet engine fan will put you there, weather you like it or not.

Another problem is the sound factor. The pathetic fan makes just about as much noise as the other, so we have a little bit of a crisis in our house.

We’ve tried a few different things, like a humidifier (we used that when I started having some asthma problems), and it cooled things down quite a bit, but leaving it on all night may lead to drowning, it produces a lot more water that you would expect. So you wake up in the middle of the night and need a midnight snack, you slide of the bed, and find yourself in about 2 feet of water, but hey, it was a great excuse for my homework.

The past few nights, we’ve tried keeping the window open…no…uh-uh, bad bad decision. You wake up to find a wasp nest in the North East corner, a colony of moths in the South East corner, a Hobo spider web in the South West corner, and a actual Hobo in the North West corner.

Yeah, we have a problem, we really do. We’re trying a thing after thing…not really working…

We need some new ideas, so we asked the Hobo in the North West corner; he said we should try sleeping in a trash bag on the corner of Main St. and Front. It was much cooler, but not exactly homey. We where arrested, mugged, and beat by the other Hobos. But it was a life changing experience…sort of…

I guess I had always wondered what Juvey was like…trust me, you don’t want to know. I am currently bald a healing from two broken bones…I had no idea they would take offense to the ol’ “What’s the difference between a Juvenile Delinquent…” and see, that’s as far as I got, I didn’t even get to tell the punch line...they have no sense of humor, maybe that comes with eating nothing but chili for a few years…who knew?

So, trying to cool down in Montana is obviously a challenge…wait a minute…
oh…problem solved. I probably should’ve turned off the oven…